Movie reviews « Paul Goscicki

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On a Clear Day (2005) 2.5/5
2006-03-02 21:03

Unrealistic, boring and pathetic in some moments. And yes, I hate Brenda Blethyn.
0.3
Rise of the Guardians (2012) 2/5
2013-03-05 23:33

Uh, huh, very very so-so. Nice visuals, but the story, the dialogs,... so childish, so simplistic. Did not enjoy it.
0.3
Akunin / Villain (2010) 2/5
2013-01-29 23:27

Ah the Japanese with their weird problems, weird behavior and weird movies. Did not really liked it. Some actions by main characters were too absurd to be believable by me, a European viewer.
0.3
Cosmopolis (2012) 2/5
2012-10-30 22:50

Way too absurd for my taste. Guess I just did not understand much of it.
0.3
Post Mortem (2010) 2/5
2012-09-16 23:13

Too absurd/too boring.
0.3
Trigun: Badlands Rumble (2010) 2/5
2012-07-13 23:20

Very so-so.
0.3
21 Jump Street (2012) 2/5
2012-06-09 23:20

Uhm, so-so. Tries way too hard to be funny and in effect most of the time it's not funny. Fortunately there are some funny moments, so it's not all wasted. But it's not a good movie either.
0.3
Into the Abyss (2011) 2/5
2012-05-29 23:34

Not that revealing and, well, quite boring.
0.3
Marudukku sukuranburu: Asshuku / Mardock Scramble: The... 2/5
2012-04-06 23:10

So-so. Really complicated and the action is so fast that you loose lots of details in the process. And the ending in the most unexpected moment...
0.3
We Bought a Zoo (2011) 2/5
2012-03-20 23:13

Cringe-worthy, one cliché chasing another cliché. Schematic characters. Barely engaging story. I'll give it a little credit for being based on a real story. But it's still painful to watch at times.
0.3
Polisse / Poliss (2011) 2/5
2012-02-28 23:15

Didn't really appeal to me. Too chaotic, zero characters I could identify with - everyone was neurotic/nervous or just plainly stupid. And no coherent storyline, just some loosely coupled police stories.
0.3
O Homem do Futuro / The Man from the Future (2011) 2/5
2012-02-17 23:15

Very so-so. Drags on too much. Too many repeated scenes. And, of course, the usual bunch of loop holes related to time travel.
0.3
The Sunset Limited (TV 2011) 2/5
2012-01-27 23:10

So-so. A little bit boring, dragging on and without any satisfying finish.
0.3
Shi / Poetry (2010) 2/5
2012-01-15 23:03

A little bit boring and dragging on. The pace just isn't there, so you loose your focus quickly. It has some value, sure, but it's not my type of cinema.
0.3
Ice Age: A Mammoth Christmas (TV 2011) 2/5
2011-12-01 22:52

So-so. Too naive, too kiddie. Not really engaging.
0.3
Kung Fu Panda 2 (2011) 2/5
2011-10-19 23:05

Even worse than the first part (and worse, despite the high imdb rating). So I was very disappointed. Much too kiddie, not really engaging story, weak dialogs, just poor.
0.3
Horrible Bosses (2011) 2/5
2011-10-04 23:10

Barely good, bordering on being quite bad. Yes, there are few funny scenes here and there, there are few nice plot twists, but overall it's just too stupid.
0.3
Green Lantern (2011) 2/5
2011-10-01 23:03

Oh, so terrible. Yes, there are few quite funny moments, but the overall intrigue, plot, dialogs were sub-par. But what could you expect at $200 mil but a total crap?
0.3
Ironclad (2011) 2/5
2011-07-20 23:30

Mediocre at best. Decent story accompanied with way too low budget, half-decent acting, terrible dialogs and poor CGI.
0.3
Battle: Los Angeles (2011) 2/5
2011-05-23 23:17

Very, very mediocre. Absurd story, lausy dialoges that make you cringe and bad acting by most supporting actors playing soldiers. Only the effects were ok.
0.3
Eve no jikan (2010) 2/5
2010-12-15 23:10

Another botched Arthur C. Clarke adaptation.
0.3
The Princess and the Frog (2009) 2/5
2010-11-28 22:35

Barely ok. Much, much too childish.
0.3
Summer Wars (2009) 2/5
2010-10-01 23:02

Too kiddie for me.
0.3
Kick-Ass (2010) 2/5
2010-09-29 12:14

Piss-poor. Few funny moments and that's it.
0.3
Bright Star (2009) 2/5
2010-05-26 00:29

Lil' bit boring.
0.3
Extract (2009) 2/5
2009-12-07 00:36

Piss poor, unfortunately. Too bad the Mike Judge is a man of one movie (Office Space).
0.3
Rachel Getting Married (2008) 2/5
2009-04-20 23:50

"Did you notice how there were no Eskimos, gays nor transvestite represented in this movie. What a racist movie! And the band at the wedding wasn't village people doing YMCA. Another proof that this movie is homophobic. " "What on earth does the colour or nationality of the wedding guests and friends in this wonderful movie have to do with anything. They're all just people." "are you saying Eskimos, native Americans and Australian aborigenes are not people? they weren't represented in this movie." "Why the fu_ck should Eskimos, native Americans etc be represented in the movie." "Because Rachel is getting married." And that basically sums it up. Way overdone. Dogma US style.
0.3
Dung che sai duk (1994) 2/5
2009-04-10 23:55

Way too artsy for my taste (watched the 2008 Redux version).
0.3
Passchendaele (2008) 2/5
2009-03-31 00:12

Passchendaele aka Jesus from Canada during WW1. Way too hagiographical.
0.3
Black Gold (2006) 2/5
2009-02-07 23:55

So-so. Too many problems raised without giving any real insight into them. Sure you could put the blame on US/EU, and sure, subsidizing food production in general is not good, but the truth lies in the details, which this movie lacks. What are the specific laws and WTO regulations that make coffee price so low for Ethiopians? And what really subsidizing foods in EU/US and coffee price have in common? After all coffee is planted solely in the southern hemisphere...
0.3
JCVD (2008) 2/5
2009-01-21 22:11

Uhm, original, yeah, but a little bit boring, predictable. Less than so-so.
0.3
Ten Inch Hero (2007) 2/5
2009-01-14 21:50

Not really good. It's all been said and done. N times over. Nothing, literally, nothing original.
0.3
Lejdis (2008) 2/5
2008-12-28 22:21

Irritating, to say the least...
0.3
Step Brothers (2008) 2/5
2008-12-08 23:32

Quite bad, although that was expected. The only truly funny moment was the Paul Potts scene.
0.3
The Incredible Hulk (2008) 2/5
2008-10-25 23:28

Uhm, so-so at best. Cliche. Out of all comic adaptations this one's only a little better than Superman (which was really bad...).
0.3
The Black Balloon (2008) 2/5
2008-10-09 01:00

So-so. Too shallow.
0.3
I'm Not There. (2007) 2/5
2008-08-10 00:40

Complicated and ultimately boring. I suppouse I'm too ~~old~~ young for this movie. Not to mention that it's not exactly my type of music...
0.3
Tatt av kvinnen (2007) 2/5
2008-07-23 00:02

Just didn't click with me...
0.3
Wolfsbergen (2007) 2/5
2008-05-21 00:54

Too many landscapes/portraits, too little plot/talk/story.
0.3
License to Wed (2007) 2/5
2008-02-23 02:10

Not good, actually. Who'd have though?
0.3
Martian Child (2007) 2/5
2008-02-21 23:38

Nah. Cliche.
0.3
We Own the Night (2007) 2/5
2008-01-29 01:36

Kind of boring and, well, stupid. Maybe the police and crime were like this in the 80s, not me to know that. It just felt kind of fake and lame.
0.3
December Boys (2007) 2/5
2007-12-06 18:10

Just your old plain growing up boys movie. Nothing, absolutely nothing out of the ordinary, except it was boring like no other.
0.3
Hairspray (2007) 2/5
2007-11-12 21:22

Cliche. Boring...
0.3
Meet the Robinsons (2007) 2/5
2007-10-01 00:18

Dull, apart from the "Tom Selleck" moment.
0.3
Vacancy (2007) 2/5
2007-08-04 23:11

Unfortunately not so good.
0.3
Ensemble, c'est tout (2007) 2/5
2007-07-27 14:40

Just as with every other French movie you couldn't identify yourself with any of the characters. They were simply unlikeable. Plain story didn't help either (ENH2007).
0.3
Sejtanov ratnik (2006) 2/5
2007-05-24 17:16

Serbian's take on the fantasy genre. Results? Poor CGI and weak storyline targeted at young teenagers.
0.3
Spielwütigen, Die (2004) 2/5
2007-03-28 21:53

Boring/pointless. It certainly made the actors and teachers as weirdos. 5 funny minutes in America showing the completely different culture/attitude than in Europe.
0.3
Rocky Balboa (2006) 2/5
2007-03-19 00:35

Not quite on a par with other underdog stories, although I believe you perceive this movie differently when you are over 50. One great quote to remember, though: It ain't about how hard you hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward.
0.3
Shortbus (2006) 2/5
2007-03-14 23:28

Great sex scenes and, unfortunately, not much else. Shallow story/flat characters/etc.
0.3
Paris, je t'aime (2006) 2/5
2007-03-02 00:42

Love, Paris. Paris, love. Maybe 2-3 good stories, others were kind of dull, despite having quite big names as directors.
0.3
Happy Feet (2006) 2/5
2007-02-27 01:27

Too simplistic/too long/too much music/too much dancing. Boring... Oscar for that? C'mon! The only good thing about this movie was the CGI, which was really top-notch and has set the new standards for the whole industry.
0.3
Flyboys (2006) 2/5
2007-01-26 23:54

Kind of boring and pointless. We've seen it all a zillion times. And CGI was not up to par with todays effects (all aircraft fights were cgi...).
0.3
Ballets russes (2005) 2/5
2007-01-03 01:14

Uhm... boring.
0.3
Wah-Wah (2005) 2/5
2006-12-30 01:45

Wah wah? Nah nah.
0.3
Alice (2005/I) 2/5
2006-12-27 02:06

Yet another movie in the missing child genre. Boring...
0.3
Miami Vice (2006) 2/5
2006-11-11 01:26

Didn't really catch my attention. I've even begun to think that I'm getting too old for Hollywood action movies but then I've read some trashing imdb reviews and everything went back to normal. This movie is simply bad!
0.3
Superman Returns (2006) 2/5
2006-11-07 00:57

I think that the outstanding problem with Superman is the fact that he is the Superman. Meaning, that his powers are limitless and he can basically do anything he wants. And that creates a little bit too wide disproportion between him and his enemies. In consequence there is no way to write a good script for him and this movie is a perfect example of that.
0.3
Requiem (2006) 2/5
2006-11-03 01:47

Uhm, boring and kind of not entertaining.
0.3
Beyza'nin kadinlari (2006) 2/5
2006-10-27 01:15

Boring/pointless.
0.3
The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift (2006) 2/5
2006-09-10 23:57

Weak story, weak acting and on top of that the race sequences are mostly computer generated, which makes them a far cry from BMW clips with Clive Owen. The only thing good in here was the music.
0.3
Diabel (2005) 2/5
2006-08-06 16:24

Poor.
0.3
Brothers of the Head (2005) 2/5
2006-07-28 23:40

Mockumentaries tire me (ENH2006).
0.3
Vital (2004) 2/5
2006-07-23 11:32

Very tiring (ENH2006).
0.3
Juste une question d'amour (2000) (TV) 2/5
2006-07-16 01:17

Uhm, no. I'll give it a strong 4 for trying to be different than all other gay/coming out movies. Bear Cub still holds the trophy for the best gay movie, followed closely by Brokeback Mountain.
0.3
Play (2005) 2/5
2006-06-24 00:49

Boring and kind of pointless.
0.3
Imagine Me & You (2005) 2/5
2006-06-19 01:21

Stupid as a pair of two old shoes, despite having two hottest chicks in Hollywood.
0.3
Ball & Chain (2004) 2/5
2006-05-11 21:12

Poor attempt at funny comedy.
0.3
Waqt: The Race Against Time (2005) 2/5
2006-05-01 23:05

As much bollywood as it gets.
0.3
Perdición de los hombres, La (2000) 2/5
2006-04-16 01:59

Good story, but weak acting, poor dialogue and lousy direction. Boring...
0.3
Tom yum goong (2005) 2/5
2006-03-14 20:22

Ong-bak was so much better...
0.3
Nae-ga sal-in-beom-i-da / Confession of Murder (2012) 1.5/5
2013-05-02 23:09

Pretty mediocre. What could have been a good movie was wasted on absurd action sequences and plot awkwardnesses.
0.3
Upstream Color (2013) 1.5/5
2013-04-29 23:41

Hmm... without reading the FAQ this movie basically makes no sense... And with reading it, it only makes the movie barely ok. But not really that good.
0.3
The Master (2012) 1.5/5
2013-02-08 23:29

Ugh. So so boring, so story-less...
0.3
Sinister (2012) 1.5/5
2013-01-30 23:08

Quite crappy if you ask me. Done a million times already. Nothing surprising.
0.3
Izolator / Warsaw Dark (2008) 1.5/5
2012-12-25 17:07

Very so-so. Story did not really make any sense to me.
0.3
The Expendables 2 (2012) 1.5/5
2012-11-19 23:03

"We all belong in a museum" says Stallone. And he's right. You're all too old for this kind of action. And while I admire the cast - I haven't seen a movie that would have so many stars in it - it's the only thing going on for this movie. Everything else is just crap. Dialogs, story, acting, all is way below bearable.
0.3
Ted (2012) 1.5/5
2012-11-12 23:05

Ugh. Toilet humor at its worst. Combine that with a pretty boring and predictable story and you came out of this movie pretty disappointed. There are a few good jokes, but those are few and far between.
0.3
Seeking a Friend for the End of the World (2012) 1.5/5
2012-10-10 23:09

Piss-poor. Half of the movie is basically him looking at her. And the other half? Not really engaging.
0.3
Eiga Reiton-kyôju to eien no utahime / Professor Layton... 1.5/5
2012-09-14 23:22

Very, very so-so. Although it is engaging during first "riddles", it quickly strays into absurd and stupidity.
0.3
The Pirates! Band of Misfits (2012) 1.5/5
2012-08-16 23:13

Very, very so-so. Forced humor, which isn't that funny and mostly uninteresting story make a very mediocre Aardman movie.
0.3
Hodejegerne / Headhunters (2011) 1.5/5
2012-06-10 23:38

Good beginning, but ruined after the first 30 minutes of so, but the unbearable absurdity and stupidity of it all.
0.3
Iron Sky (2012) 1.5/5
2012-05-30 23:10

Few good laughs, I'll give it that, but not much more. Weak plot, forced laughs and turning points in the story. Incoherent, rushed, unpolished. Oh, and low budget. And you could see that...
0.3
Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows (2011) 1.5/5
2012-04-16 23:18

Very, very so-so, or maybe even just bad. Just too stupid for me... and also way too Sci-Fi (Holmes' physical & psychical abilities, face surgery, etc.).
0.3
Desu nôto / Death Note (2006) 1.5/5
2012-03-31 22:45

Very so-so. Main character's actions were questionable at best (read: plainly stupid), so I did not really enjoy it.
0.3
Listy do M. / Letters to Santa (2011) 1.5/5
2012-03-26 23:15

Very so-so slash bad. Felt a little like a Bad Santa/Love Actually rip-off. And, well, it has all problems of family movies: too smart kids, improbable situations and general disconnection with the reality (i.e. the movie is more of a fairy tale).
0.3
The Inbetweeners Movie (2011) 1.5/5
2011-12-29 22:05

Should've skipped that one. If only I knew it was based on a series... Just too much toilet humor, which is not really funny.
0.3
Tsumetai nettaigyo / Cold Fish (2010) 1.5/5
2011-12-28 22:39

Quite bad if you asked me. And much too dragging on. Being loosely based on a true story doesn't help much either.
0.3
Fright Night (2011) 1.5/5
2011-11-26 23:05

Very, very so-so. 'nuf said.
0.3
Winnie the Pooh (2011) 1.5/5
2011-11-13 22:25

Much, much too kiddie. I'm way too old for this. And I kind of knew it would be like this.
0.3
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 (2010) 1.5/5
2011-11-01 23:10

Quite bad. It has some good moments, but the overall story and characters are terrible. It's like they can teleport anywhere and any time they want, just not when it's most needed (for whatever reason, sometimes none). Oh, and Hermione making out with Ron instead of Harry? Wtf is with that? I suppose I didn't get the memo that in this series, the main protagonist does not get the best girl.
0.3
Space Battleship Yamato (2010) 1.5/5
2011-09-16 23:04

Very so-so. The visuals are really good, but characters, dialogs and the whole storyline... weak, very weak.
0.3
Idealny facet dla mojej dziewczyny / The Perfect Guy for... 1.5/5
2011-09-14 23:20

Very so-so. Sure there are some good gags in there, but the story is weak and some scenes just made me cringe.
0.3
The Arbor (2010) 1.5/5
2011-09-13 23:25

Very so-so and basically boring. Just yet another tragic story about an unemployed family and its sibling living off the social welfare in England.
0.3
Chocolate (2008) 1.5/5
2011-09-07 23:02

Very so-so. Or maybe even worse. Poor fighting scenes (especially those using the terrible CGI), the story left a lot to be desired as well.
0.3
Les femmes du 6ème étage / Service Entrance / The Women... 1.5/5
2011-08-31 23:05

Oh the French. Oh the terrible movies they sometimes make.
0.3
Scream 4 (2011) 1.5/5
2011-08-14 10:12

Quite bad... and quite predictable if you expect this "in next 5 minutes someone will be killed" and "the actual killer or killers will turn out to be the least expected person/persons", oh and this "it all will make no sense whatsoever".
0.3
Noruwei no mori / Norwegian Wood (2010) 1.5/5
2011-07-25 23:38

Weird sexual relationships of weird Japanese teens. Not really enjoyable.
0.3
Weekend (2011) 1.5/5
2011-05-05 23:02

Let me first start with the good things. Top-notch music. I was really surprised by how good it was. And one other thing - Paweł Małaszyński. His acting was on a really good level. Everyone else was simply ridiculous. Add to that a very absurd story and you've got yourself another pointless Polish crime/comedy, with poor dialogues, cheap special effects and terrible gags. And that pretty much sums it up.
0.3